Online relationships, another perspective.

Recently, I got a chance to talk to one of my online friends, who used to claim that she was in love. I used to believe her, and I had made it clear to her right on day one itself that it will never work out and that we cannot be together. I am an India, Hindu, pure vegetarian (to the extent that I don't even have egg). She is from some other country, Christian, loves non-veg food.

She seemed to talk very emotional stuff. She used to tell me how she wants to come to India and how she'd have loved to be around me, and how she'd do anything for me, and so on and so on and so on .....

That was the background.

Recently, when I checked my yahoo, she asked me how I was, and I told her that I am married and happy. I got a message saying that she was not serious. Well, to say that I was shocked was the least. Now, I feel that she was just playing around! She might have been lying outright.

Given the prospect that she was lying on this aspect, chances are that she was not at all truthful. She was just screwing with my mind!! I just feel so sick of myself to have been so gullible to have really believed all that. I feel like some 15 year old, who met someone on net for the first time and claims to have fallen in love with that person. I feel ... betrayed. And so, i am hurt and angry too. Hurt that it turned out this way and Angry at myself for being so gullible.

There is another question that I need to answer. Was I really gullible or did I make that choice?

And the answer is equally frustrating. I guess I knew that this lady might have been a fake. Not only that I might also have known that she was playing with me. But, I still chose to be taken along. You see, it is a choice.

I can believe that she is who she is, and give respect to her lies. Or I could have played too, and simply keep insulting her in my psyche. I chose the later, and I knew that she might be playing with me. And I was ready for it.

Over a period of time, I guess I let my armor down, and that is what I am angry about myself. I let my armor down.

That takes me to another question. How true are online relationships. I think Zilch %. There is no chance that they might be true. Given the high pressure life that we are all living, online relationships offer almost no chance of success unless backed by real encounters of the partners. It is not only essential to keep the romance and trust alive, but also to make sure what each of the partners want, and whether there is truth in the other's words or not. I am sure lies will be caught sooner or later. They have their cost, no doubt. However, still, they will be caught and a better or bigger emotional tragedy might be avoided.

But something good had come out of my relationship with that lady. I came to understand how a woman thinks. And what are her expectations. That helped me understand my current wife better. And that is what I am thankful to online facilities about.

They give you a demo run of the female psyche. I suggest every nerd try it out at least once. it will be a good help! And guess what, you wont be a nerd after that.